Naked Twister

While my children are getting ready to leave the nest, and I have been confused about how I feel about things, I also have a little secret in the back of my mind I haven’t shared with anyone.  I know it sounds mean, and awful of me, but I’m not really trying to be mean.  I think every parent thinks about these things.  However, there is that little ping of guilt I feel every once in a while, when I do think about it.

When Cassidy was little we found out she was highly allergic to flowers and Christmas trees.  I don’t miss Christmas trees so much, but I’m going to cover my house with flowers.  I love flowers and I intend to have a dozen of them, at least.

059 These are some of my favorite flowers out at my Dad’s house in Pingree, Idaho.  I will be getting some of them.  I will also be planting a flower bed this year and maybe even a raised garden, when I figure out how to do it.  I am so tickled that I will be able to do that this year.

I will also be spending a lot of time at Bed and Bath picking out pretty smelling body sprays.  I can’t stand perfumes, but I love the body sprays.  Anything that is soft scented and makes a girl smell…well, like a girl.  (Lavender is yummy!)

Then, of course, the scented candles…a must have!  I haven’t had a bath with burning candles in so long I’d almost forgotten how.

Although, my days won’t be spent getting kids up and ready to go to school anymore, or doing their laundry, cleaning their rooms, making sure they take their pills every day, or lecturing them about boys I will be busy taking my life back.  Spending time with my husband, traveling, reading, writing, photography and maybe even a game of Naked Twister or two.

You want to know what the real secret is? I’d trade it all back to have my kids sleeping in their own beds again.

An Easter Story~

A couple of years ago my mother passed away.  It was literally one of the most horrifying experiences of my life.  She passed away a couple of days before Easter.  Her birthday followed and then, Easter and the day after, her funeral.

My mother was very big on holidays.  Christmas and Easter were two of her favorite holidays.  She cooked a huge dinner, usually ham on Easter and other wonderful side plates to go  with it.  We always had the family together and everything always looked beautiful and smelled wonderful.

This particular holiday wasn’t so wonderful.  Although, we had holidays without Mama, because Mom and Dad moved to Idaho to help take care of Grandma, we could always call her and wish her a Happy Easter, or whatever.  This Easter was different.

I’d gone to Idaho for the funeral and both houses felt very empty without her there.

The night before Easter I was having some sort of a melt down.  I sat in front of Grandma’s house bawling my eyes out.  My Grandma’s dog sat right beside me in the dark as I cried, smoked and cried some more.  He’d lick my hand and my face to try and make me feel better but nothing worked.  I felt like a part of me was missing and I couldn’t get it back. Ever.  I fell to pieces.

It was at the time right before night turns into day and I got cold. I went inside and grabbed my coat and came back outside and broke down again.  This time I felt out of control just thinking of how Easter was going to be without my mother this year.  I cried and cried.

The dog growled.

I froze.

I heard something just a few feet away, but the darkness kept me from seeing the noise.

The dog growled, again.

Something white scurried across the lawn, but I couldn’t tell what it was.

“What the hell…who’s here?”

I wiped my eyes and stood up, staring into the cold darkness.

Something white scurried across the lawn again.

This time the dog stood up and ran into the yard,  I reached inside the door of my Grandma’s house and clicked on the porch light.

I could hardly believe my eyes.

A yard full of white bunnies were scampering, hopping and playing around.  I squealed with delight and ran inside to grab my husband and my camera.  I thought ‘He’s never going to believe this.’

“The Easter bunny’s here, the Easter bunny’s here,” I said, completely delighted for my Easter surprise.

“Angie, you’re going to wake up your Grandma,” He said, quietly.

“She can see the bunnies, too!”

For the next couple of hours we chased rabbits and took pictures.  Most of the rabbits you can’t see anymore because they’re hiding.

The strange thing about all of this is on the phone my mother told me that Dad was raising rabbits and selling them.  Mom hated it.  So when the rabbits got just big enough she would open their cages and let them run free.  Her and Dad would argue about it, but she’d do it anyways.  Dad finally quit raising rabbits.

So, what I am asking is this just pure coincidence? Or is this a mother who wanted to stop her daughter from crying on Easter morning and this was the only way she found to communicate with her?

I never shared this story, (only with my boss and friend Debbie Rodriguez, because I knew she would understand).  I didn’t even tell my sister about it.  I think about it every Easter, though and I am convinced…it was my mother.

27 DowntheroadfromGrandma'shouse Grandma'strees2